Lust is Not a Constant: Kimberlee Alexander

Kimberlee Alexander

Profession: VP, Sales and Marketing, Married to Morgan Tincher with twins

What is love to you?

Love is happiness, encouragement from your partner and a balance of trust and respect.

What makes your relationship work?

Good wine, supportive friends, and a huge amount of tolerance, patience and forgiveness for each other.

What are you always working on?

Communication is a big theme now more than ever. Good communication between Morgan and me is one thing but now that there are four of us, proper communication is imperative.

Being a career woman your whole life, how has the transition been to motherhood?

It’s been one of the hardest challenges I have ever had to endure and is drastically different from what I pictured it would be. The biggest struggle was the transition from formerly having a predictable day full of stimulating conversations with clients and colleagues to changing diapers and feeding two very demanding individuals on their schedule.

What are you doing to handle it?

I’ve learned how to talk to my friends a lot more and depend on them. I’ve learned how to reach out to other mothers for support, guidance and reassurance that everything is going to be okay. It’s similar to taking on a project at work – there are various stages and you look to different people for perspectives. There is no true guidebook; every woman, and every child are going to be unique. But knowing you are in the realm of doing the right thing is comforting. It took me a good 6 months to figure that out.

After having twins, what do you do to focus on your relationship?

We introduced date night back into our life. We do little things for each other to make each other feel special and cared for. It’s important to maintain that connection even amidst all of the baby poop.

How do you keep romance alive?

Throughout our relationship there are high and low points of sexuality and connection with each other. It’s important to realize feeling attractive and being in a state of lust comes and goes and is not necessarily a constant. Allow yourself to feel what you feel instead of putting pressure on yourself and your partner. Give each other space when one of you doesn’t feel like being intimate. And when you do, celebrate it.

What is something you’d tell your twin daughters?

Trust your instincts and your moral compass when it comes to love. But also allow yourself to be hurt. There is so much to learn through every type of relationship.

To a future son?

Treat women with respect. Plain and simple.

Having dated Morgan for 7 years, did you feel the pressure of marriage?

The biggest struggle of our relationship was that the courting phase was so long. “When are you getting married?” is a question you hear on a regular basis. But it goes back to trusting the person you are with. Believe in yourself and your partner, and if you see a future for the two of you then don’t give it up.

What do you love about Morgan the most?

From the moment I met him, I loved the way he made me feel about myself. He gives me a sense that I’m unstoppable – as an executive and as a mother. He’s my person.

Who pursued whom?

It was a mutual. I made sure to keep the lines of communication open. I didn’t want to play a game. I wasn’t interested in making it complicated.

Who is the alpha?

It’s mutual. I tend to control situations but he pushes my boundaries…constantly. We both do the laundry – the true barometer of a relationship.

What’s your advice to single women?

Women are so hard on themselves and there is so much social pressure that comes with finding a partner. Relax a bit. Believe in yourself. Know that there is a relationship out there for you if that is what you truly want.

Last words of wisdom?

Be with someone who lifts you up in the loud and celebratory moments, but even the quiet ones. You’ll know you are with the right person, when you feel you can conquer any obstacle.

To check out Kim’s husband’s interview, click here.